Jul 30

Jul 30 Why I Became a Teacher (and Why I Almost Didn't Become a Teacher)

I love being a teacher, but truth be told, I almost decided it wasn’t for me.

So many kids grow up thinking they want to be a teacher. I think this happens to two different kinds of kids. Usually the kids who answer the "what do you want to be when you grow up?' question with the response, "teacher" are the kids who like school or the kids who have a teacher who inspires them. I was one of those kids. I was the kid that grew up wanting to be a teacher because I liked school. Don't get me wrong, I also had amazing teachers who inspired me (more on that later...), but mostly, I liked school and I was pretty good at it.

Fast forward to high school, when my future career was no longer a hypothetical question but a real one. I changed my mind. Why did I change my mind? I started to feel as though I was too good to be a teacher. (I know, I sucked, bear with me.) I felt like I was too smart, too capable, and meant for bigger things. (I know, what a jerk.) Entering my junior year of high school, I had surpassed the required amount of math credits I needed to graduate, but I signed up for the next level of math anyway, like everyone else. My guidance counselor knew I wanted to be an elementary school teacher and asked me why I was signing up for calculus. After discussing it further, I decided not to take calculus, because I wouldn't need it for an elementary education degree, and I took a college class online that would help me work towards my future degree. While I knew this was the right choice, and looking back I'm so glad I made that choice, at the time it made me feel as though I was wasting my talent. I knew I could be successful in a calculus class and pursue a career that would require me to take it, so why was I deciding not to take that road? I wondered if I was taking the easy way out. (If you're a teacher, you're probably rolling your eyes at high school me like am right now.) I had thoughts like, "I'm ONLY going to be a teacher" and "I'll JUST be a teacher, nothing more."

Cue the second kind of kid that wants to be a teacher. Liking school was no longer a good enough reason for me to pursue this career. I couldn't pursue a career just because it felt comfortable to me. I needed a better reason to take the "easy" road. So then I thought back to my own teachers in elementary school. They were not JUST teachers. They were not ONLY teachers. They were AMAZING teachers who changed lives everyday. So then, I was the kid who wanted to be a teacher because I had teachers who inspired me. I wanted to be just like them.

Don't you worry, that arrogant high schooler, who thought she was too smart to be a teacher or too good to be a teacher, became a teacher and got a huge dose of reality. This job is not easy. I did not choose the easy road. I chose the road that so many think is the easy road, but is actually one of the most difficult roads.

It’s okay to wonder what life would be like outside of the classroom.

Now, I'm not worried that I'm too good for this job, I worry that I'm not good enough. I worry that I will not have the patience and the strength I need to be an amazing teacher. I look back at those amazing teachers who inspired me, and ultimately helped me to choose this career, and I wonder how they did it. When I start to wonder if I'm good enough for this job, I remember my teachers. I remember how they made me feel. I try my best everyday to show up for my students they way they showed up for me.

If you are a teacher, and you struggle with the thought of staying in this profession forever, I'm with you. It's hard. It's not glamorous. We are underappreciated. I want you to know that you are not alone and it's okay to feel that way. It's okay to wonder what life would be like outside of the classroom. It doesn't mean you aren't absolutely rocking it every day while you are still there. It doesn't mean you're a bad teacher.

If you are thinking about being a teacher, but you are unsure like I was, that's okay too. If you are worried about teaching not being enough to challenge you, I promise you that is not true, no matter who you are or what your strengths are. It will challenge you in many different ways. If you are worried about teaching being too challenging, I encourage you to reach out to teachers who love what they do. Ask them what makes it worth it. Ask them how they deal with the challenges. Observe as many teachers as you can. They only way to really know what it's going to be like is to talk to and watch real teachers who love what they do.

Ultimately, I am so glad I became a teacher. This job has taught me so much in just two years. I have grown, I have learned, I have taught, I have connected. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Will I stay in the classroom forever? I have absolutely no idea...and I'm okay with that.